Have You Been Naughty or Nice? Santa AND I Want to Know
I was over at Marinka’s where she was talking about gift giving and it got me thinking, there is nothing like the holidays to make you reevaluate the “worthiness” of all the people in your life, am I right? Come October I can’t help but think,
JESSICA’S THOUGHT: Sure he delivers the paper but does he do it with love? and my kid is really a very mature six, so do I REALLY need a babysitter anymore? and finally, yeah, my nieces and nephews are nice and all but it’s not like we’re super close or anything.
I work hard for my money just like everybody else and when I give someone a gift, I do so to thank them for either not killing me, hanging up on me…a lot, or for a job well done. The problem is the definition of “well” seems to take on a much greater significance when the holidays roll around.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to be one of those people who fires someone at Christmas time, that would be horrible. Tell people you dropped your nanny two days before Halloween they’ll think, “well she probably deserved it” do the same thing two days before Christmas and suddenly YOU’RE the bad guy. Whatev….
This is why, come October, I start asking myself “is this person honestly worth the hassle of parking in a mall on a Saturday in December? Can I give this person a chunk of cash without throwing up in my mouth while I’m doing it”? and invariably as the years pass, I find myself saying “no” more and more.
However, to be fair, I don’t have any expectation of receiving anything either. My friends and I know very well how much we love each other and giving me an apple slicer is not going to make me think any more or less of you. However, give me a lap top and well, let’s just say I wouldn’t think less of you, how about that?
We all have so much “stuff”. I used to be a much bigger spender. Granted, I had money back then but nevertheless, honest to God, whenever I’m inclined to make a purchase, I now stop and ask my self, “Do you really need more stuff?” and these days my response is usually, “No. What you need is a boyfriend and a cookie.”
One thing I will do with Phoebe when she gets a bit older is to spend some time during the holiday season volunteering. Clearly, I can’t take her to the ER with me, I think they’d probably have an issue with an 8 year old asking patients if they want to snuggle, if their new lung came from a live person or a dead one, making jokes about crazy people to a person they didn’t know was literally crazy, asking if a mom thought her two month old baby had cut the inside of his mouth with his non existent teeth, you know, stuff like that.
Wherever I take her, it will be to show her how so many others out there are suffering and how really good she’s got it and to remind myself of the same, because although these last five years have pretty much sucked, I’m writing this on my beautiful MAC computer, in my own home, with the heat on, food in my fridge and a still running, 12 year old c**kblocker in my driveway that refuses to die and that every car thief in the State of California doesn’t think is even worth stealing.
18 Responses “Have You Been Naughty or Nice? Santa AND I Want to Know”
I think you have a great attitude and I think Phoebe is so lucky to have you as a mom! I wrote a christmas present list last month, and stuck to it. I might have bought Fiona one or two more gifts than were originally on the list, but the others – I stuck to it! It feels so good to set limits. And honestly, I didn’t step foot in a mall ONCE. I did it ALL online. Love etsy, and amazon. ps – I so admire you! I’ve never volunteered at the holidays, but I hope we do that as a family someday too!
I will take all your old stuff. I really am all about spending money and accumulating belongings.
My mother always told me that there are only two kinds of people in the world: the givers and the takers. And they never exchange places. The older I get, the more I see how right she was. Jessica, you give of yourself when you write…and man, do you put yourself out there. You keep getting up to bat and Phoebe will be rich because of you.
One of my favorite parts of the holiday season is the giving. Although it’s more fun to give to people who truly need it than my family, who is…well… pretty spoiled.
Good points. And how much mileage does a c**kblocker get in the city?
I have been living under the smug misconception that I am with it, current, in the loop, aware of ghetto slang trends.
I know what a low rider is, a hooptee, but I’m not familiar with the car you describe.
Rats. Reality bites.
Social consciousness is very admirable. You know if the economy gets bad enough some crook might actually steal a c**kblocker.
Great post.
I’m with you completely on the boyfriend and the cookie.
My parents haven’t spoken to me in over 6 months because I’m *too* positive and don’t join in with their pity parties.
Last year, when they were on my good side. I got them really good seats to Spamalot…and a rather nice hotel room in the city it was playing in.
This year, they are getting a hickory farms meat assortment and some scratch tickets. My hope is that they understand they mean enough to me for preserved sausage (but I didn’t splurge on any mustard assortments) and that I hope they win some big money so they can pay me back the $400 they owe me.
Great points. And when you are out picking up that boyfriend and cookie, would you mind getting one of each for me too?
Very thought provoking post. There is, indeed, entirely too much STUFF. Volunteering with Phoebe during holiday time is a huge gift for you, for her, for everyone you touch. That’s pretty cool!
We’ve spent time this year talking to the boys about how it’s not all about them, and that this will not be a big Christmas. That second part has been hard for me because I tell myself I’m going to not over do it, and then sometimes go overboard. Not this year, though. Additionally, we’ve been talking a lot about ways we can help families in our church who are in need this year, and shopping together for things on their wish lists. I hope it’s a lesson and a mindset they take and hold onto for the long run.
Finally, OK, I have a husband, but listen, I’d not be adverse to having a boyfriend MADE from a cookie.
I’m with you on this one… we should all just donate to Kiva, UNICEF and the Red Cross instead of buying each others stuff we don’ need…
Great attitude, great plans. And no embarrassing situation involving hot guys in the gym, swimming pool or hospital, a pleasant surprise…
I love this post. I have beenthinking a lot this year abput how I can show my 5 year old that we are very fortunate and place in him the desire to help others. He is a very helpful shild anyway and I think that he is at an age that he would really absorb whatever it is that we do…
I can absolutely relate. I used to buy buy buy which of course made me the most favorite aunt of all time. Now I think less is more and thoughtfulness outweighs spendiness.
You do get to that place where you define ‘want’ vs. ‘need’, and act accordingly.
Now about that boyfriend and cookie…
Wonderfully written and expressed. And taking kids when they are a little older to volunteer is the best thing for them. You are an wonderful mother.
I’m right there with you on the gift giving thing. Does my overly spoiled nephew really need anything else?
Myself, on the other hand, could always use a cookie… and a snuggle.