This Post is Rated PG-11 Right?
Scene:
Waiting for Phoebe doing while she is doing her gymnastics.
Sitting next to me is a mom. Sitting behind me, although I didn’t know it, was her 8 year old son.
JESSICA: (loudly) At what age do kids stop believing in Santa Claus?
Blood drains from Mother’s face.
HER SON: There’s no Santa Claus?
MOTHER: She’s joking sweetie. Do you homework.
JESSICA: (whispers to her) Oh my God. I’m so sorry.
MOTHER: It’s alright and just in case, he still believes in the Easter Bunny too.
JESSICA: (loudly) I love the Easter Bunny. All that chocolate and the jelly beans. Yum.
SON: Mom do you have any chocolate? I’m hungry.
MOTHER: (Proceeds to yell at me with her eyes) No, I don’t. Now finish your homework.
JESSICA: Maybe I should just go and wait in my car.
MOTHER: I can’t argue with that.
DON’T FORGET: Because I lost almost all my subscribers and to celebrate my new home here, if you (re)subscribe/leave a comment with the letter STJ, you can win a $35.00 gift card to Trader Joes. Winner will be announced Thanksgiving Day.
28 Responses “This Post is Rated PG-11 Right?”
I bet you were popular at playgroups, too, weren’t you?
I thought you disappeared and I was all WTF??!!! Glad to find you again.
You should have gone for the kill and mentioned the tooth fairy on the way out the door. Or do you think that would have taken her over the edge?
I love to read your blog and the Mouthy Housewives. We don’t have a Trader Jo’s but the prize would be a good gift for my aunt in California. STJ
My brother, at a family gathering at our house, said something to that effect. My son was sitting right next to him at the dinner table. At least you didn’t know the kid was there!
I think you handled that well, elegantly even. In ten years, the mother can broach the subject with her son: Remember that crazy lady and her daughter at gymnastics who thought Santa is a figment of our society’s imagination? They were right. Now finish your homework already, or you’ll never graduate.”
STJ
She and her son should have waited outside. Totally.
Did someone say chocolate?
Trust me. You did her a favor. It’s way harder when the mom spills the beans. The kids never forgive the beans spiller.
She should have thanked you in advance because, when in his teen years, he’ll still be speaking to her. You totally salvaged what could have been a rocky road.
You’re a giver.
How’d ya lose all your subscribers?? I GOT IT!! Cause you told everyone there’s no “HO HO” Clause (at least there’s not one in any contract I’ve ever signed my name to). Seriously, none of the kids in my block ever believed in the big red man, at least not after they were around 5. You’re right on course there Jessica!
Jen
What do you mean about Santa?!
OMG, she had the best closing line I’ve heard in a long time!
Sorry it happened to you.
If she were really a good mom she would protect her son from random evil influences by never letting him out of the house.
stj
Oh, I resubscribed, baby. I had no idea you were posting until you left a comment on my blog. Because per my google reader it was zippo. Glad you re-entered the solar system. ZST Wait. Was that the code?
Trader Joe’s? I believe in Trader Joe’s.
Re-subscribe? Did I do it yet?
I have no idea. $35.00 bucks at Trader Joes can buy alot of win.
Re-subscribe? Did I do it yet?
I have no idea. $35.00 bucks at Trader Joes can buy alot of wine.
Let’s face reality people. If a kid is old enough to read, type and google they’ll look it up for themselves. By 7 or 8 it’s all over.
STJ… What does that stand for? Santa at Trader Joe’s?
I’m still here – at your new home. Welcome to Wordpress!
Oh – just so you know: Santa Claus really does exist!
At what point do kids stop believing the fat man is coming to their house to leave presents? Kids are so tech savvy by the time they can get on the internet all their dreams are shattered. I think the kid has been playing that mom for years.
That’s what happened to you?? STJ, whatever that stands for… ;p Suck this junk? Super tough jackass?
Oh God Jessica, do NOT tell your child about the fact that….um, you know who…doesn’t exist. I just told my son the truth about the Tooth Fairy, (http://bit.ly/3ZOsIZ) because he’s almost 10 and asked for the “truth truth.” He was nearly as devastated as I was. He said he regretting knowing.
Lesson learned, never before and never again am I telling him the truth. It’s completely over-rated.
I re-subscribed days ago; I’m not that easy to get rid of…
and if the kid was 8, he’s definitely been hearing rumors in school about the big bearded guy.
My friend’s son believed in Santa until he was about 11 or 12…seriously! I’m surprised his friends didn’t thwart his belief, or some lady named Jessica…
Although I’m guessing he said he still believed in Santa so as not to disappoint his mom from playing the part so well. 
I think this is what they meant when they said the Jews killed Christ.
Oh, and TJC or TMJ or whatever the hell I’m supposed to write to win the card.
Her own damn fault. She had it coming. Also, how did you determine the kid was 8?
I didn’t know what happened, I stopped getting notices. Now I know.
No Trader Joes down here in Houston though.
I can’t remember when I stopped believing, it may have been the year that i asked Mom if we could dust the fireplace and surrounding area with flour to capture the footprints and she said “no.” I knew it was a cover-up.
I have the potential to do something like this. In fact, I have. I’m glad you’re out there.
ewtyg3 http://dj83Ba0t9flLdxWkq4h9.biz