If you think YOUR life sucks, just try living with FV

My friend called me the other day and as typical for people over the age of 40, we were discussing our health,  you know like how my hearing is going and the fact that she feels like she's getting a flappy vagina. 

I know some of you might think, "TMI, TMI" and yet, my first thought upon hearing this was "Diet Book". 

I've decided to write one called, "the flappy vagina". Inside there will be no recipes, just the words "flappy vagina" and maybe a color by numbers outline of one on every page and I can guarantee you, if you read this book cover to cover, all 500 pages of it, you're appetite will be permanently supressed. 

Now, being the curious mind that I am, I went to Wikipedia and looked up "flappy vagina" because A) I clearly need to get a life and B) As my friend is a couple of years younger than me, I was curious/terrified to find out if this was something that happened to all women or just blondes. 

Also, as I'm sure you can imagine, I didn't feel comfortable asking my friend to go into any detail about her "condition" because I honestly felt that any further description would have made it impossible for me to ever see her again and not just want to yell out, "hey there flappy, how goes it?" 

Anyway, the only thing Wikipedia could tell me was:

You may create the page "Flappy vagina", but consider checking the search results below to see whether it is already covered.  

Well, considering the only search result I got talked about flappy jaws, it looks like it's a go.  So any information you might have on the subject will be greatly appreciated by the many people who suffer from this horrible condition and yet are clearly too embarrassed to talk about it, oh, except my friend of course.
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posted by admin in health and have Comments (67)

67 Responses to “If you think YOUR life sucks, just try living with FV”

  1. May I recommend a windsor knot for your friend? Ties things up really nicely.

  2. BIBI says:

    Bwahaaaaaaa!
    No ideas as of yet, but I’ll be sure to check Wikipedia for any info.
    Happy hunting:)

  3. Becca says:

    did you try flappy va-jay-jay????

  4. Now see those are two words I never thought to put together. Flappy and vagina. Ugh.

  5. I think the floppy vagina is a result of too much hootchie waxing. All that tugging and whatnot. Just a theory.

  6. Casey says:

    Well from the sound of it, I would imagine two parallel pieces of saggy pizza dough swinging together like a pendulum.

  7. TwoBusy says:

    On the one hand, you made me laugh so hard that I almost woke my kids up. Seriously.
    On the other, I now have to attempt to get through an entire weekend of fun with my in-laws trying not to let the phrase “flappy vagina” enter my head at an inopportune moment and destroy my composure completely.

  8. heidi says:

    Ummm…flappy vagina? Seriously? What does this mean and will I get it?
    I love that you looked it up. I dare you to write an entry for Wikipedia.

  9. blognut says:

    Oh Crap! Now I gotta worry about this?
    How long do I have?
    Can it be cured?
    WTF?
    Old knickers, Lady Fhi? That doesn’t make me feel any better. Just sayin’.

  10. p.huong says:

    You should tell your friend about this.

  11. One of the most horrifying yet hilarious lines in Borat was when he described his wife’s vagina as a “wizard’s sleeve.” Now THAT is a flappy vagina, friend.

  12. Karen MEG says:

    OH. MY.GAWD.
    Although I must say, flappy sounds much sexier than flabby. At least more elastic.

  13. Rita Arens says:

    I’ve been trying to figure out how to turn this into an LOLCat since you first put this out there, but I can’t and now the window for it to be funny has probably closed.

  14. Michael says:

    Reportedly, this is a Joan Rivers joke:

    “Why am I wearing bunny slippers? And why are they grey?”

  15. Daria says:

    LMAO – someone once described it to me as roast beef cold cuts – haven’t ever gotten the image out of my head – now I have the words flappy vagina right in there with it. :)

  16. I came here for witty chat and I get the Vagina Monologues. Sometimes things work out.

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