I used to be a salesgirl at Anthropologie. Anyone who has ever walked in there will tell you, Anthropologie is not just a store, it’s a religion, a cult almost. When I told friends that I would be working there, the shift in their tone was palpable. I felt like I had been instantly “sainted”, you know turned in to the God of sweatercoats or something equally as proud.
On my first day of work, I was told I could choose one friend to put on my discount card. I was also told that after the name was processed, I could NEVER NEVER EVER CHANGE MY MIND. Later that night, I made a list of all those I felt would actually use the discount AND feel indebted to me for life. After I made my decision, I called my friend and told her the good news. Her response? “I can’t believe you chose me. I’m so honored. Oh my God, thank you so much.”
It was perfect. Grateful, with a just hint of “I owe you.” I think I may have even shed a tear over that one.
I used to love the feeling of being “owed” only because I was the who was always feeling indebted to others, no just financially but in “hey thanks for calling me back, thanks for acknowledging me, thanks for showing up,” kind of way. One time, my kitchen faucet was broken. The plumber arrived at 2:33pm and by 2:33 and 5 seconds, he had completed the job. Apparently, all he had to do was literally turn a knob and for that I got charged $85.00 or if you broke it down , and I did, many, many, many times, $17 a SECOND.
AND YET, as I’m signing the work order all I could think was:
JESSICA: Should I tip him? He wants me to tip him. I can FEEL him wanting me to tip him. Oh God, he’s lingering. Yeah but $85.00? Come on, that’s ridiculous. Yeah, but then he’ll hate me. I’m tipping him. No, I’m not tipping him. I need that money. Oh God, okay, this is it, he’s walking out the door, he’s going to leave and tell everyone back at plumber headquarters how cheap I am and then they’re all going to laugh at me..just give it to him. No. I’ll give him a ten.”
And that is what I did. I nearly offered him one of the candles I’d bought with my discount at Anthropologie but then I realized that the holder was pink and it had a giant letter “J” on one side.
Luckily, I have at least overcome the urge to shove a twenty into the hand of a guy because he honored his commitment and showed up to take me out. Now my problem is more about trying to overcome my temptation to tell them, “I’ll give you twenty bucks if you turn around and leave right now” then “thanks for being here”.
I’ve made a lot of progress over the years. I’ve had to bite my tongue a lot, often until it bleeds, but I’m the richer for it, that I can tell you, both mentally and financially.
We need to work on your self-esteem because seriously, plumbers get paid a bundle and don’t need to be tipped. Unless of course I’m just being cheap and have had numerous plumbing mishaps because I wasn’t smart enough to know how much to tip the plumber. Ah crap!
This is totally me. I always want people to like me and not think bad about me so I end up doing stuff I can’t afford or don’t want to do. Oh dear…it’s pathetic.
Pull out your inner bitch and just say no.
So that explains why the hot water heater guys charged an arm and a leg after our basement was flooded to replace the computer panel on the brand new hot water heater that they had just installed a mere month earlier…because I neglected to tip them at the time.
Now it makes sense.
I got a gift card to Anthropologie for my birthday. For $50. And I couldn’t find anything to buy for $50. Do you still have your discount card? Because I, ya know, could owe you.
You just gave me a great idea! Next time I have someone over to the house to, say, shampoo the rugs, or clean out the vents, I am going to talk loudly on the phone: “I’m watching to see which one does the most work and that’s the one I’m tipping!…What’s that? Yea. I know. Is $50 too much? It’s all I have on me.”
I love the way you can laugh at yourself… If I had some money, I’d tip you for it.
It must depend on where you grew up. I grew up in the Midwest (Iowa) and people just don’t tip everyone all over the place, esp if the person is just doing their job. Or maybe we’re just cheap bastards.
I am always torn as to who to tip and who not to tip.
Cute story.
I think I’m going to have to get a part time job at Anthropologie. I like the whole idea of indebtedness.
I don’t tip plumbers. But I heard an old joke, which may or may not have actually been funny, about a plumber who showed up for a split-second repair and left a bill of $1,000. Seems he had spent only moments under the sink just to bang the pipe a time or two with his wrench. When the homeowner complained and demanded an explanation, the plumber accounted for his bill this way. “$1 for my time and $999 for knowing where to bang.”
Just make sure these guys who want to take you out know precisely where to bang.
There are so many flippin tipping rules. Somebody really ought to write a book about it for those of us (me) who get confused.
I feel your pain.
This is great. I love it. I have missed you…somehow I did not have the link to your new page, for a while I just thought you were on a long cruise…or something more exciting… perhaps I fell asleep one day?
Happy New year!!!
Suz
Tipping rules? Try coming from a country where it is not customary to tip at all. Our first time in the US we stayed in a fleabag motel where I was so nervous about getting it wrong I tipped the breakfast waitress $5 *every day for a week*. She couldn’t fill my coffee cup quickly enough
I must be on some kind of master plumber black list because I have never tipped a plumber. Also, $17 a second made me laugh out loud. Finally, I’m totally in the cult. I love Anthropologie.
I have never heard of anyone tipping a plumber! Are you really supposed to? I’m with Shelly who commented about growing up in Iowa. I did as well and the only people I can remember my parents tipping were in restaraunts…
Another hilarious post for many reasons. My goodness, I LOVE that store. Only there isn’t one here & I have to sift through the millions of pages of their online merchandise. So, one word about indebtedness. Karma. You know you’ll pay someone back in one way or another and the Universe will love you for it. Good deeds really do travel around and come back.
Wait, I’ve never tipped a plumber or handyman. This year I had a hard time deciphering who to tip and who to skip. Like the kid’s swim instructors, teachers at school, Gymboree employees, mailman, babysitter, blah blah blah. I hate not knowing who needs to be greased to keep happy.